Simple Gifts

WE MADE IT!

2007-09-29T21:39:00.000-05:00

After seven long weeks, Matt is back where he belongs. Right here at home.
Zachy said to him tonight, "Daddy, can you please stay with us?" It was so cute. They are so happy to have him home. Me too.
I totally admire single moms. This last 7 weeks was truly one of the hardest things I've ever done.
I assumed that since I got through him working while going to school, that it would be pie. Oh my, it so wasn't. It was so very, very hard.
But..I survived. As my neighbor said (her hubby came home from Iraq today, hooray!) it makes you realize just how strong you are.
Indeed.
And now I'm ready to crash.
I think we're going to six flags tomorrow, so no rest for us!
I'm so happy to have him home. :-)

Museum Fun

2007-09-19T14:58:00.000-05:00

Took the kids to the museum yesterday. It was really fun!

The inevitable problem with blogging

2007-09-16T11:10:00.000-05:00

I've seen it happen at so many blogs.
It's happened here.
People think that, because they read your blog, they know all there is to know about you.
You may think that there couldn't possibly be more to my life than what I write. The reality is, you are granted a tiny glimpse into my life. That doesn't mean you know me.
Even our far away family will tell you that they don't really know us anymore, now that they don't have regular contact with us. They don't know what our kids are into, they don't know what Matt and I enjoy doing, what shows we watch, etc. That comes from a personal, daily relationship with a person.
Therefore, for a reader to have any kind of strong opinion about me and my family, is crazy.
You may think you know what is best for my kids. But you don't even know my kids. Meeting them once or twice, if at all, is far from knowing them.
I think it is so easy to get sucked into that trap of thinking I'm telling you every detail of our lives. That I'm telling you every quirk the kids have, every personality trait. But no. You really don't know much.
Please, try to refrain from judging me, based on what you read here. Based on what you think would surely be best for my family.
The bottom line is this...God gave our kids to Matt and me. He didn't give them to you. He is guiding us in bringing them up. Please, don't question what we do with them. Rest assured that we pray daily about how we bring them up, and feel very guided to do the things we do.
Thank you for taking this post into consideration before you email me, or spout off to someone else about us.

Big Heavy Sigh

2007-09-04T21:19:00.000-05:00

It's one of those nights.
A big, heavy sigh kind of night.
I'm missing Matt fiercely.
Yes, I have 5 kids to keep me busy. But that doesn't mean I'm not longing for Matt to be home.
Three weeks down. Four to go. Seems like an eternity.

Pictures

2007-09-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love these kids.
I have been blessed far more than I deserve.

Just a little posty post

2007-09-02T14:49:00.000-05:00

Just to say that all is well here.
We are finishing week three without Matt. Four more to go.
We had major van issues on Tuesday, that I'm proud to say we came through with flying colors. But it would have been MUCH easier with Matt around.
The kids started school this last week and my oh my are we busy.
They also started gymnastics last week. They all love it.
In general, we've just been really busy with life.
I, for the life of me, cannot figure out how mom's with loads of kids are able to update their blogs often. I'm struggling to find a minute or two to myself. And to put pictures up? Oh my.
Emmie is 6 months old tomorrow. How in the world did that happen? When my mom left she said, "see you when you're walking" and I laughed and said, "don't say that, that can't be true" But alas, it's already been 6 months since they were here. And 2 months since my inlaws were here. Time's a flyin! So, unless my mom gets her tookus out here soon, Emmie may well be walking when she sees here next.
We have a birthday party to go to this afternoon, so I'm off!

Working on a new layout

2007-08-21T15:09:00.001-05:00

And it all takes time. This is as far as it goes today. For now anyway.
I got tired of the green.

A Village?

2007-08-19T21:25:00.001-05:00

Happy kids

2007-08-17T17:40:00.000-05:00

My dad is here.
He took his stuff up to his room and promptly pulled out a TMX Elmo. Collin and Zachy think it's pretty cool.
Then he came downstairs, stripped off his shirt and declared to the boys that it was time to pretend we're in the tropics.
In case you don't know, we're in the middle of tropical depression Erin. The boys were beyond thrilled to run outside in the rain.
Next time I looked, they were all on the trampoline, with Papa shooting them high in the air. I thought for sure they'd soar right over the net.
Then they decided they just had to swim in the rain. And much to their delight, papa hopped right in with them.
He's just like a big kid. And the real kids couldn't be happier.

Changes

2007-08-16T20:16:00.000-05:00

Oh my. I stink at updating lately. I just don't have the gumption to sit and write.
Life is feeling pretty monotonous lately, so I don't write.
But alas!! CHANGES!!
First change, if you recall, we should be in Colorado right now. Well, as luck would have it, our plans had to change, and now Matt is in Colorado, and the kids and I are here. For seven long weeks. Although, we already have almost one under our belts.
I'm not complaining. I am so thankful that he is only in Colorado, and only for seven weeks. It's much better than Iraq!
Other changes include Emily. She is now on Singulair, in an effort to stop this coughing. The constant coughing. I'm thinking the pulmonologist thinks I'm just batty at this point. Because, of course, she doesn't cough around him. However, when the pastor's wife holds her, she manages to cough up phlegm on her. Lovely, indeed. It is all so very frustrating. If the Singulair doesn't help in about three weeks, then he wants to scope her and make sure she is anatomically correct. Ha, that sounds funny. But you get my point.
Em is now 5 months and 2 weeks, she started sitting up yesterday. All by her self. Such a big girl! And a big event like that, calls for a big celebration. So we celebrated today by giving her her first food! MMMMMM, she loved her bananas!
Normally, I'm a strict nothing-but-breatmilk-for-the-first-six-months type of mama, but she was so ready. She wanted to gobble everything up that went in my mouth!
And onto a totally different topic..my dad is coming to visit this weekend. We are all so excited. We really enjoy having visitors in these parts. Probably because we are so all alone here. But it's really ok. We have each other, and that's all that matters.
The school books have started to roll in. And the kids are getting pretty excited about school starting. As usual, I'm hoping to do a better job this year than last! I say that every year, and I think I do better every year!
I started this post talking about changes, but got sidetracked. Sorry. I have to go get to cleaning.

Yep, we sure were messy!

Matthew was taking pictures today.

Some pics from the birthday party

Happy Birthday

2007-08-10T23:55:00.000-05:00

Dear sweet Collin! Happy birthday to you!
I cannot believe how fast the last 6 years have gone! How you have enriched our lives so much. You make me smile so many times during the day. Your smile is so contagious.
I'm so glad God gave you to us! We are the luckiest parents alive!
I love you more than words can say.
Happy Happy Birthday.

Events

2007-08-05T11:47:00.000-05:00

Our lives are molded and shaped by all the events in our lives.
Whether they be good or bad events, they form us.
I've had many events in my life. Once, I was asked to do the sound effects for the community theater's production of South Pacific. It was there, that I met Matt. That small event, would pave the way for the rest of my life.
Because of that play, my life has changed in so many ways.
I've found out that I am much stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I think I can survive just about anything.
Four years ago, I was about to embark on a huge life changing event.
The birth of each of my five children, has changed my life.
At this time, four years ago, I was going through my first drug free labor. It was induced with Pit, so I guess it wasn't completely drug free. And once, I had a shot of nubane, just to gather my senses.
The birth of Zachary, was a pain I had never experienced. But the physical pain, was nothing compared to the pain my heart would feel over the next couple of days.
You all know the story. I won't bore you with it.
Every year since then, Zachy has grown to be an amazing person. He makes me laugh so much. And frustrates me all at the same time. He is so giving with his love and kisses.
I couldn't ask for more, he is my Zachy.
Happy Birthday sweet, sweet boy. You have shaped me in only a way you could. I love you more than you can ever imagine.

I'm not dead!

2007-07-09T18:51:00.000-05:00

I've been asked if I'm still alive, and the answer is YES! Aren't you so glad?
So much has happened since my last update, I don't know where to start.
Maybe I'll do the short version! Wait, there's no such thing!
Ok, so Matt's parents came to visit the third week of June. We had such a great time! It was sad to see them go. We did all kinds of fun things like the Alamo, and Sea World, and even a mission or two. Unfortunately, the day we did the Alamo and Riverwalk it was sooo hot. It was pretty miserable. But we made the best of it anyway. Then a couple days it poured! Phooey! We never did make it down to the coast. This was a huge bummer. When we lived in Ohio, Matt's parents came to visit and we were going to go to Niagara Falls, but we had a blizzard! This time the rain ruined things. Oh yes, and a baby who HATES the carseat! Maybe next time they come we'll make it down there!
As for said baby...she is doing great! The night Matt's parents got in we got a new to us couch and love seat. Suddenly, Em's breathing got better! Then there was a definite pattern to her crying. She cried when her meds for the reflux wore off. But we quit the breathing treatments and she has done great. We know we are dealing with an allergy for sure now. She has started to roll over now, but I don't put her down too much because when she is down on the ground (even on a blanket) her face is breaking out.
Stupid dog, I seriously cannot get rid of her. No one will take her. The humane societies are all full. I have no idea how to get rid of her, short of taking her to the country and dumping her...which I wouldn't do! She has to go though. We are on the waiting list at a couple humane societies, so pray for an opening for us!
Emily sees the pulmonologist on Monday, and we are going to keep that appointment. We just finished up VBS, it was a wild west theme and we had hay and all sorts of horse stuff in the chapel. Em's breathing was bad then. So, we need to see how to control all of this.
She saw the gastro who said it sounded like we were doing a good job controlling the reflux, which I agree about.
We also saw a new ped for her four month check. I really liked her, even if she wasn't that pro breastfeeding! Oh well. Can't win them all.
Matthew finished up pathfinders and was awarded pathfinder of the year. YAY MATTHEW!! So Matthew was pathfinder of the year, Dill was adventurer of the year, and Collin was Eager Beaver of the year. All their hard work paid off for them, and we're so proud!
In August we are headed to Colorado Springs for 6 weeks. It will be so nice to have a break from Texas for awhile. They needed a temporary audiologist, so Matt volunteered to go. Fun times!
Let's see..what else? I don't know. How abot some cute poop stories??
Zachy insists on getting naked to poop, and we still have to wipe his bottom. So he called for us to come wipe him. When Matt walked in, Zachy was sitting on the pot, in the classic meditation stance...heels together, elbows resting on his knees, middle finger and thumb together..chanting "ummmm..yucka yucka yucka..ummmm..yucka yucka yucka yucka" So funny!
The week of VBS, Collin was having some intestinal issues. He was in the bathroom when I heard, "oh no..I pooped a little in my pants" Then a horrified, "OH DEAR" I asked what was wrong, "it's melted" he replied!! It was just a tad in his pants, by the way.
The melted poop carried on for several days. I had to stop by Family Christian Book store on my way to church one night. And Collin said, "I have to poop, and I know it will be melted" So we hurry to the bathroom. It was one with just one toilet and sink. It took awhile so I was standing there nursing Emily. He is pooping, while someone is rattling on the door. I hollar out that someone is in the bathroom. It was Zachy. He had to go. He had to go now or else he was going to poop his pants! His had melted by this time as well. So, I'm standing there, nursing Em, telling Collin to take a break and let Zachy sit down so Zachy doesn't poop his pants. Collin freaked out that he would then poop his pants. I'm trying to plead with him to get up so Zach won't poop his pants. It was mighty comical I'm sure. But no one pooped their pants. When I opened the door, there was a line of people waiting to use the bathroom! HOW EMBARASSING!
Anyway, that's it..my poop stories, and my update. Have a great week!

Creative Memories

2007-06-14T20:11:00.000-05:00

Hey all! I'm having a creative memories party at my house next Thursday. I wish you all could be there. I have never used creative memories for scrapping, but it looks like they have really expanded their products. Go have a look. You can order for my party on the internet. Just let me know if I can help you!

Just a quick update

2007-06-14T11:51:00.000-05:00

ok real quick like...Em saw the dr on Monday. He agreed with the other dr that she needs to be seen by a pulmunologist and a gastro doc. She is scheduled to see the gastro doc on July 3. Still waiting on the pulmunology appt. He also ordered allergy testing, but I'm not holding my breath that they will be conclusive. They did a nasal wash to rule out RSV as well. It was negative. They upped her breathing treatments to twice a day.
So now we just wait, I guess. *sigh* It's really pain, I wish we had answers, now.
OK, off to clean, must get ready for the in law visit.

I feel like I'm running on one brain cell

2007-06-10T21:05:00.000-05:00

OK, so a few people have emailed me and asked me to update.
I realize it's been a long time, I just have a lot happening right now.
First and foremost is Emily.
What is wrong with my precious baby?
As you all know, she has been very congested, for...oh..ever.
The last time I posted, I said that she had her upper GI and did not have reflux. Well, the dr called me to tell me these results. I was so upset. I said, "then tell my why she is so congested and wheezing so badly!" He said he didn't know, but he could tell I wanted her to be seen again, and since it was going to be memorial day weekend, I could bring her in on Friday.
I was all prepared for this meeting. I took video of her breathing so he could see that she was really retracting and trying hard to breathe. It wasn't needed. When the nurse called us back, she freaked. She pulled the dr out of the room he was in and said he had to look at her NOW. They immediately started a breathing treatment. After two treatments, she was still wheezing, but not so bad that she needed to stay there. He told me at that point that the upper GI had said she didn't have reflux, but based on what I had said and her symptoms, he was going to treat her anyway. So we left with meds and a new nebulizer to treat her every 4 hours.
Over the weekend her cying escalated. There was no consoling her. It was awful.
On Tuesday when we went back in, the dr hung his face in his hands and said, "something is wrong with your baby, and I don't know what" He then told me she would be sent to a pulmunologist and gastroenterologist. Finally, we'd be getting somewhere.
That Saturday, we got a letter in the mail announcing the drs retirement, stating he'd be seeing no more patients.
Now, I had been fed up with him because this has been going on so long and he really hasn't helped much. In fact, I was ready to find a new dr after this ordeal was over. This put us in a pinch.
I decided to make the specialist appointments and work on switching her provider. Little did I know that that would be impossible. The gastro dr is booking in March! March folks. She'll be a year old. The pulmunologist can't see her till the end of July.
Thankfully, I was able to call Tricare and tell them what is going on. They got her a PCM immediately, and she has an appointment on Monday. I didn't like our former military dr experiences, so I'm praying it goes better this time.
She is still on breathing treatments daily, and still wheezes and is horribly congested.
Through all of this, she tries very hard to be a happy baby. She smiles and I just know a laugh is in there somewhere.
Dillon and Collin had their ending program for adventurers last Saturday. Dillon got Adventurer of the year. We were pretty proud of him!!
Last Sunday, we took Dillon to camp. He was there for the week. I missed him terribly. He had a great time.
We picked him up today and dropped Matthew off for his week. He is totally excited because he gets to do waterskiing this year. Fun times.
Last week I spent dejunking the kid rooms. Everything is nice and in place now. We'll see how long that lasts.
Also, on Thursday, Collin lost his first tooth!
This week my in laws are coming to visit. We are very excited about it, and plan to do lots of fun stuff with them.
In our free time, we are busy working on VBS. It is going to be a huge success this year. We are holding it the last week in June.
I'll be so glad when July hits. No plans, so far. It will be nice to stop being so hectic!
So there you have it, a big long entry from me...you asked for it!!

More Emily Cuteness

2007-05-23T11:03:00.000-05:00

First off, let me say that Em had her upper GI this morning and she does NOT have reflux. Which is oh so frustrating for me. It puts us right back at square one. Something is wrong with my baby, and I don't know what. GRRRRRR
Anyway, here are some pictures from last night, Matthew and Dillon were playing with her trying to get her to smile.

An answer...finally..and some pics

2007-05-21T23:37:00.000-05:00

So Emily just seemed to be getting sicker and sicker. She was constantly choking and gagging. Starting last Wednesday, she was throwing up every morning. On Sunday, her breathing got pretty labored. I decided it was time to see the dr. So we went to the ER yesterday. And the dr said, "she has reflux". He said that she would need an upper GI but that he could tell it was reflux. He started her on pepcid yesterday, and already she is improving. Still really congested, but not nearly as fussy.
Today, we followed up with the ped and she now has an upper GI scheduled for Wednesday morning. I hope it is simple. And I hope we get the answer to all of her misery, once and for all.
I was asked to put some more pictures of her up here, but the reality is, we don't have many. Why? Because she is constantly crying and in our arms, or sleeping. But you've seen lots of sleeping pics. So tonight we got some other pics. And here they are, along with some of Collin, just because he suddenly seems so grown up to me.

I don't know if you can tell in this picture that she is trying to get her jammies in her mouth. Her hands are constantly in her mouth, and she puts anything she can get her hands on in it. It's awfully cute!

This is a picture from a mother's day tea that Collin's adventurers class put on. They sang a few songs for us and told us about their favorite Bible friend. Collin's was Jesus. No surprise there! :-)

Wilderness

2007-05-08T13:26:00.000-05:00

OK, not really the wilderness, but at one of the missions, there was a short nature trail along the river. It was the prettiest place I've ever seen in Texas. There were millions of caterpillars, and if you stood still, poop would fall on your head. You could hear the poop hitting the leaves. It was really wierd.

Mission fun

2007-05-08T13:24:00.000-05:00

I didn't bring the camera on our first day. So here are some pictures from the last two missions we went to. Unfortunately, they were the most rubbled of the missions. Someday, I'll get pictures of the other ones.
What struck me the most about these, is that they are still working churches. And in the one with the well, there are actually still francsicans living there.

Our usual night

2007-05-08T13:23:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of our usual night. I don't know what we ever did without an exercise ball in the past!

Hail Storm

2007-05-08T13:21:00.000-05:00

Awhile ago, there was a huge hail storm. It's been pretty stormy around here lately. In fact, a couple of weeks ago we sat through a tornado warning siren going off. We didn't know it was for a tornado, but heard an announcement saying to seek shelter. Now we know.

I'm having a bad day

2007-05-08T12:40:00.000-05:00

I'm sure I've titled posts that way before, but it's been awhile!
Things here have been so crazy. We are still trying to find a home for Sadie. Who knew this could be so hard??
On Sabbath, we went over to some new friends' house, who have no dander. Emily did great. She didn't cry, and she wasn't stuffy, and she smiled like mad at their baby boy.
I honestly just want to move the heck out of here, and go somewhere with hardwood floors. I hate hardwood floors, but this house is probably packed full of dander and who knows what else. It seems nearly impossible to move though.
Zachy is acting up. I know he is still dealing with not being the baby, but he is being awful. Last night he flooded the bathroom with water and shampoo. Earlier today, he dumped the entire gallon of milk on the ground. *sigh* He is really testing me.
This morning I thought that Emily and I were soaking from a leaky breast, but no...Zachy had come into our bed this morning and his goodnight leaked everywhere.
It was super windy last night, and it uprooted our canvas gazebo thingie, bent the metal nearly in half, it's toast.
It's only noontime and it's been a rough morning. Hopefully things improve this afternoon.
In good news, Dillon finished all his math today. We are so close to being done with the school year. Matthew has one more math lesson. They are done with their grammar. There is no time limit on history, so we'll stop that soon. We've taken a detour from the regular history, and have started to learn about the missions here. We went to them on Thursday and Friday, and the kids had a blast. I was shocked, I thought they'd be bored.
That reminds me, I have some pictures I need to post from there. OK, no more complaining about the day..off to upload pics.

Sorry

2007-05-02T23:09:00.000-05:00

I don't know when I'll be back in the swing of things.
Last night was awful. Crying. Crying. Crying.
In fact, at one point I was just ready to go to the ER. She finally stopped.
Something hurts.
Tonight is better though.
I think she is actually asleep in there with Matt..so I'm off to bed.

SHE SMILES!!

2007-04-29T14:12:00.000-05:00

I am so happy!! Yesterday, while we were killing time, Emily started smiling huge smiles! Over and over and over! I was almost in tears. How sad is that? I was just so happy to see her look happy.
I'm thinking there may be something wrong with her tummy. I'm going to order some gripe water this week. She is really spitty, and when she burps, it makes her cry. I think her tummy just hurts.
In completely unrelated news, we now have a new dryer. Matt changed the heating element in the old one, and it worked long enough for me to get caught up on the laundry. So, we said to heck with it and bought a new one. We also bought an extended warranty, so we have a 4 year warranty now. At least that guarantees us 4 years of use, which is much more than we got with this one!

How will your obituary read?

2007-04-22T14:30:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered that? What will your obituary say about you? Will it say you were an encouragement to others? Will it say you touched many lives? Or will it just state the facts?
So yeah, I'm having a hard time with Damon's death. He was just so SO wonderful. He was an inspiration. I often wondered how it was that he was so nice. And the only answer is that he was walking so close with Christ. He was becoming like Him every day. And it showed. I want to be like that.
The other day, we went to a pizza place, and I sat there and thought, 'this must be a christian establishment'. I can't tell you why I thought that, because I can't put my finger on it. But, I want people to look at me and think, 'she must be a christian'
I have so far to go. I am trying to think positive thoughts these days. I'd like to eliminate the negative influences on my life. I'm stepping back from some message boards that aren't that uplifting. Not that they are bad, they just aren't uplifting. If that makes any sense.
Damon's influence continues in death. My mom said that church was packed yesterday, and that testimonies of him were cut off at 12:30. The funeral isn't till Tuesday. I can't begin to imagine how packed it will be then.
They donated organs, and were able to take stem cells, bone marrow, skin, eyes, almost everything. They said at least 50 people would be helped by him. How wonderful.
Another wonderful thing is that his grandma was able to buy him a plot right next to the very woman who introduced him to Jesus. Can you imagine that reunion when Jesus comes back? How very, very wonderful.
And so here is how his obituary reads. It speaks volumes to me.

Damon A. Huhtala, 28, a resident of Hayden; died April 18, 2007. He was born Oct. 17, 1978, at Roseville, Calif., to Diana Howe Jewell and Kerry Huhtala. Damon grew up in Sonora, Calif., where he graduated from high school.

Damon moved to Coeur d'Alene in 2000, where he attended North Idaho College Carpentry program. Later he helped construct the Hayden Lake Seventh-day Adventist Church, where he had recently become a member. He was presently employed by Edwards Construction Company. However, he had already laid plans to enroll at Weimar College, a Bible College in California to get a degree in theology and become a minister.

He loved fishing, boating, hiking, camping and all kinds of snow sports including: skiing, snowboarding and snowmobiling. He also loved children, but his favorite pastime was studying the Bible.

Damon's name means "loyal friend" and this describes him in the most accurate terms. Many people considered him their very best friend. He was a wonderful example, inspiration and encouragement to many others. His quiet, genuine and non-assuming ways were irresistible and made him the type of guy everyone wanted to be around. He will be deeply missed by all who knew him.

And I know it really doesn't matter

2007-04-20T12:51:00.000-05:00

but Emily really isn't smiling yet.
She smiled that one time at Dillon, and once looking out the window at the sky.
Neither times were the type of smile where her whole face just lights up.
I looked and all the boys were smiling by now. She'll be 7 weeks old tomorrow.
When, oh when will I get those gorgeous heart melting smiles??

It only took two years

2007-04-20T12:41:00.000-05:00

This last week, I joined a new homeschool group.
Yes, at the very end of the year. But that's ok.
These new neighbors are a little rough around the edges, and honestly, we don't really want our kids hanging out with them. Matthew is fine with this, they drive him crazy. But Dillon is just enamored by them. It scares me, because Dill is so impressionable, and I would much rather he be impressed my good kids than bad!
I went walking with a different neighbor last night and she said, 'you know, God either makes us a follower or a leader and there's nothing wrong with either one, we just have to help them to follow the right people" I think this is so true. I hear parents say, "well I've taught them right, they know what to do" I don't buy this for a second. I've taught Dillon well..and yet, in certain circumstances, he seems to forget what he's been taught!
Which led me to find a christian homeschool group. They also happen to be a military group. So, yesterday was park day. And we went. And it was great!
It was so nice to be around normal people! Normal by my standards anyway. People who enjoy having their kids around and aren't trying to get rid of them at every chance. People who also hated Texas when they first got here, but learned to like it while they're here. Just little things like that. I felt at home with them.
And the kids had a great time too. Of course it will take awhile to form real friendships. Dillon found someone he latched right onto. Matthew might take awhile longer. But it will happen. I hope.
Thankfully, they meet all summer long, so it really is of little consequence that I joined now.
I'm just so happy to finally be part of a group here. Finding homeschool groups was easier in Ohio and Idaho, which is funny, since San Antonio is much bigger than anywhere we were before!
Hooray for homeschool groups!!

Do your loved ones know that you love them?

2007-04-19T00:20:00.000-05:00

My mom called me today, to tell me that one of our friends from Idaho had tragically died today.
He worked in the construction business. Today he was walking with a nail gun when he tripped on a cord. He fell down and the nail gun went off..shooting a nail through his head.
Such a horrible thing.
He was 28 years old.
And it made me think. Did Damon know how much he was loved? His life was certainly not easy. Not by a long shot. His dad and brother are in prison. I don't know anything about his mom. He had years of drug use behind him.
But he found Christ, and his life changed. He was a deacon in the church. He probably physically built more of the church in Idaho than anyone else. He was the type of person you could depend on. Over and over I heard what a hard worker he was. When Matt was in Korea, and we were moving..Damon was right there helping me. We had game nights at our house, and he was always there.
He was a quiet guy, but once you got to know him, he impacted your life.
I can't even tell you how much he will be missed.
And yet, I wonder, did he know? Did anyone actually take the time to tell him they loved him? Because we did. Anyone who knew him, must have. But with no family to tell him, did he ever hear it?
My stomach has been upset all night. You don't usually wake up and think you are going to trip and shoot a nail through your head. You don't wake up and think that when you go to class that day, you will be shot. You never know when your last day is.
Take the time to let your loved ones know you love them. Even if you think they know. And even if they aren't family, or the usual people you tell that you love. It could be your last chance.
Goodbye Damon. We loved you, and we will miss you so much. I only wish we had taken the time to tell you.

Ahh, the good (or not so good) ole days

2007-04-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

So I'm washing lots of laundry, which I will take to the laundromat to dry later this afternoon.
Many years ago, before we had any children, Matt and I used to do our laundry at a laundromat. We had a great time.
There was an arcade next door, and we would set our clothes up to wash and go race each other on the car games. He always won, but it was still fun.
When the laundry was done, we would go across the parking lot to the movies and see a movie. Sometimes two.
I remember seeing the movie Nine Months then. And talking about when we would have a baby. We talked about having babies a lot back then. But we also talked about waiting until we could better afford it. Not that we wanted to. But we actually waited till we had been married two years before having Matthew. That was when we used to plan the baby!
It's funny, because I remember those times as good. But our marriage was also in a tremendous amount of turmoil then. I didn't think we'd actually make it. But somehow we did. It was at that time that we both got out tattoos, and there certainly was no church going to be had. Matt was working at Taco Bell, and I was going to cosmetology school. I have no idea how we survived. Times were not good, not at all.
Except for the weekly laundromat dates.
It's been 12 years since then. And we have come so far. Without the help of anymore laundromats!
Matt's now an audiologist, supporting us pretty comfortably. There isn't a doubt in my mind that our marriage will indeed make it. We've been through some terrible stuff and I figure there's not much else that could shake us. We have those babies we used to talk about all the time. More than I imagined? Nope, not yet! We are very, very involved in church, as a whole family unit. And I now wish there were no tattoos!
It's amazing to look back on those times. We were so, so young. God was hanging on to us when we were pulling away. He wasn't in our marriage at all, but He was going to try his best to be there.
Of course, I've made my trips to the laundromat since then. And it's always with fond memories of the early trips. I usually have someone to leave kids with, or someone to come with me. It will be totally different this go around. It'll be a whole new set of memories.
Maybe we'll even hit the movies afterwards.

This is not good

2007-04-17T22:52:00.000-05:00

My dryer has died.
Starting Sunday, it would only dry on high heat. And it was HOT HOT HOT. Earlier today, it was drying on high.
Now. Nothing.
It rotates around, but absolutely no heat.
This stinks.
I have too much laundry to worry about something like this! Matt is out of town till Saturday night. What will I do??
*sigh* I told him it would be good for me to go it alone for awhile. To get back to not fully relying on him. I just didn't expect to deal with this.
I had really hoped our washer and dryer would last long enough that we could save up and get those nice new ones. You know, the ones that hold like three loads. Oh my, that would be heaven. I guess it wasn't in the cards though.
I was trying hard to save a good chunk of money for when my in laws come to visit, but that chunk is shrinking by the day. We may just have to sit at home and twiddle our thumbs when they come!!
I would put up a clothesline, but that isn't allowed here in base housing. I guess I'll be making a trip to the laundromat tomorrow to dry the clothes in the washer and dryer right now.
Stupid dryer.

I am so in love with this girl

2007-04-12T13:03:00.000-05:00

I could stare at this little face forever. I feel like I have, actually, her face looks just like all of her brothers! These pics were taken last night, so you can see how much better it looks. I ate tomatoes last night, and nothing happened. One thing eliminated!
I think the top right pic is my favorite.
Put your cursor on the mosaic and click to start it. Then just roll your cursor over the pictures to see the big picture. If it stops, just refresh the page.

General update

2007-04-11T15:57:00.000-05:00

Emily is looking MUCH better. She is still really dry, but not red and inflamed. The other day, Chester came in to eat, I picked him up to put him out afterwards. The next time I held Em, she got really red. So for now, keeping Chester outside seems to really help. I'm afraid to add anything back to my diet though!! I don't know why, it's not like it kills her.
In fabulous news, Em saw the cardiologist yesterday and her heart is PERFECT! What a huge relief that was. I sat there fighting back tears as he did the echo.
I talked to him about some stuff that is going on with Zachy and he wants to see him and do a halter monitor on him ASAP. The problem is, he isn't Zachy's original dr. And that dr blew me off when I mentioned the issue. So I have to get a referral from the pediatrician and get Zachy in.
This morning, Bugaboo gave her first smile. And it wasn't even saved for me! Nope, it was given to Dillon. Oh Dill was THRILLED. It was so cute. She just stared at him forever smiling at him.
Last weekend was pathfinder camporee, and they got rained out. What a bummer. Matthew was having a blast. They came home a day early. They had a day and a half there though, so that was good. Matt said the speaker was really good, and unfortunately, he was probably someone that the kids needed to hear.
Everything else just goes on normally. Nothing major to report.
Matt leaves for Denver on Sunday for a week. I will miss him. We all will. It's rough to go from having him home all the time to being gone all the time! We will survive though!
Off to figure out dinner while bug sleeps.

And by the way...

2007-04-08T14:34:00.001-05:00

How much do you love this song?
It is one of my all time favorites.
How I wish I could save time in a bottle!!

Beside myself

2007-04-08T14:08:00.000-05:00

I am feeling so incredibly overwhelmed right now.
I have eliminated chocolate, dairy, nuts, fish, eggs and now tomatoes from my diet. I had the last tomato on Thursday. Em's face is finally starting to clear.
But here's what I've noticed. Yesterday, we spend the whole day at church. The day before I had cleaned our room really well and shut the door, to keep out the animals. We have an air purifier going in there too.
On Friday, I also washed all her clothes in Dreft. I know, bad me, I hadn't been doing that before. But her body doesn't seem all that affected.
For weeks she has had a stuffy nose. We assumed it was a cold, but it hasn't gone away. And it drives her crazy. She also has a clogged tear duct and her eye is always goopy and icky.
Yesterday morning, for the first time, I didn't have to uncrust it to get it to open. Then we were at church, like I said. Throughout the day, I noticed the redness of her face going away too. And her neck was almost all flesh colored. Her nose wasn't stuffy at all, and I never once had to wipe her eye.
Within an hour of getting home, I was wiping goop out of her eye, and she was stuffy again.
Her face is sitll looking pretty good, not great, mind you, not great at all...but much better than the pictures.
Could she be allergic to the pets? Is that even possible at 5 weeks old? Younger considering when the stuffy nose and eye goop started. The eczema started about a week and a half ago. I wonder about the pets simply because I would think there would be dust mites and other allergens at a church that is all carpeted with cushioned pews.
And the bigger question is, how do we figure all this out? I certainly don't want to do allergy testing, and I'm not sure they would do it anyway.
Everything I read says that having animals in the house actually makes them have fewer allergies. But is that always the case? Allergies are inherited. My sister is allergic to cats, and I think my dad is too. Matt's family all suffer from allergies as well. I think most of them are seasonal allergies, but I'm totally not sure about his brother, who seems to be the worst of them. It seems entirely possible to me that that is what it could be. Even if she is young.
But is it the cat? Or the dog? Or the rodents or birds?? Or is it just something I was eating? But what about the eye?? Do you see how this is killing me? Around and around I go...and I haven't the foggiest idea how to get to the bottom of it.
Truth be told, I'm ready to banish all pets from the house, if it means my baby won't be miserable.
And speaking of allergies to cats...how's this for observant?? When we lived in Ohio, in an apartment, Dillon developed allergies for the first time. They were more severe than they have been anywhere else. And in the winter time no less. We coudlnt' figure out what in the world was blooming and making him allergic. Now it dawns on me that that is the same time we got the cat, who was strictly indoors at that point. Strangely (or not anymore) his allergies seem to always be worst in bad weather...hmmm like the times the cat stays in because it is too cold to go outside??!! How could we be so blind and not see that?
So it seems like a reasonable assumption that Dillon is allergic to cats. But what about Bugaboo? It seems awfully severe if that is what it is.
UGH..I just don't know. And I wish someone could just give me the answers and let me know what to do to fix this. Could you do that?? Pretty please??
These pictures were taken on Thursday. What you can't see is that in between any red area is totally rough skin. Also, what you can't see (obviously) is that it completely covered her neck, and spread down her back and chest, and now her arms. It's pretty bad. Today, her right ear is peeling from the dry skin coming off. I am lathering her in cetaphil constantly. My poor poor baby.

These kids are driving me UP THE WALL

2007-04-06T15:07:00.000-05:00

Not mine, mind you..cause mine are perfect little angels. *snort*
They have decided to move some more families into our housing area, and there are quite a few kids. Since we have a community yard, so to speak, and we have the trampoline, imagine where they all migrate. The kids live down the street a ways, but they keep coming over here.
There is one family with 5 boys, and they are the problem. The three eldest I should say, since we haven't ever seen the younger two.
They ring the door bell over and over and over and over and over...and bang on the door till someone answers. I have told them repeatedly to stop ringing the door bell and pounding on the door. Not only is it annoying, but Emily has decided to be a fuss pot and not sleep, so I have about 10 minutes (ok that's an exageration) to get any work done while she sleeps. Every time they come to the door, we start the cycle over. I'm about to go tell their parents to have a talk with them, since they obviously have no intentions of listening to me.
And why do they do this? To say, "can I have a snack?" or "I ran through your sprinkler, can I have new pants and a towel?" or "Dillon isn't playing the cops game right, you need to come get him out of jail" When that was said, and I told the boy I wasn't going across the street because of their game, he informed me, with much attitude, that this was NOT a game. I told him that yes it was a game because he wasn't the real police. To which he got extremely huffy and stomped off.
My kids have all been outside playing and yet these neighbor kids continue to come to my house and tell me to send someone out to play with them. Sorry kids, I don't have any more to send out! I would ignore them, but as I said, they don't stop ringing and pounding till you answer.
UGH..I've so had it with them...and just think, they only moved in last week.

Where does the time go?

2007-04-04T14:56:00.000-05:00

I've often wondered why it is that when you are pregnant, time drags. Then once the baby is here, time flies.
Little Emily is already a month old. I can't believe it. I keep telling Matt that the next time I look at her, she'll be 3. That's what happened with Zachy.
Things are going really well. The boys absolutely love her. Zachy still asks if we can call her Tarzan. He's so silly. Even though he asks that, he still says, "I love you, Emily" all the time.
Matthew and Dillon are huge helps to me. She settles right down on their chests. So sweet.
And yes, she needs settling. Zachary was the easiest baby in the history of babies. Not so with Emily. She isn't horribly fussy, but when she is awake, she definitely likes to be held. Which is fine by me. I just have to rush to get chores done when she is asleep. Which explains why I haven't been here much. Computer time has definitely gone by the wayside. Which is ok. It just means you have to wait longer in between updates.
Emily is currently covered in acne. Her face, ears, back, and chest are a solid mass of pimples. Took her to the doctor yesterday who said it was a classic allergic reaction. So right now I am taking dairy, nuts, fish, chocolate, and eggs out of my diet to see what could be causing it, because it is so bad. I'd try to take a picture, but she looks so red in all her pictures anyway, I'm not sure it'd show up. Maybe if I take it outside. We'll see.
She also goes to the cardiologist on the 10th. It is just an appointment to have her heart checked out to put my mind at ease. I've had a few freak out moments with her, and I just need to be absolutely sure her heart is ok.
Matt is still home. I don't know what he will do when he goes back to work! Shoot, I don't know what I'll do when he goes back. It's been really nice.
Tomorrow, he and Matthew leave for the weekend for Pathfinder camporee. They are both looking so forward to a weekend of camping. Course the weather is supposed to cool way down. I have to admit, I'm a little worried about dealing with the four younger ones at church on my own.
In our downtime, we are busy revving up for this year's VBS. It should be loads of fun, it is just loads of work for the directors. Hehe.
The boys have been busy doing their school. They are happy to only have 2 more months before having all summer off.
Laundry is calling, and Emily is sleeping, so I need to go get that done.

Beach days

2007-03-27T11:07:00.000-06:00

When my mom was still here, we all went down to S. Padre Island to play at the beach.
It was a little tough because Emily was only a little over a week old, and at one point Zachy got sand in his eyes and just couldn't get over it, but we survived.
There were great big sand dunes that the boys jumped down. The water was chilly, but the boys didn't seem to mind! They all had a blast.

Isn't she cute??

2007-03-23T11:51:00.001-06:00

Getting to know Emily

2007-03-23T11:47:00.001-06:00

In the hospital

2007-03-23T11:19:00.000-06:00

Emily's birth story

2007-03-23T11:16:00.000-06:00

Finally, I've typed it out. It's long, be warned.
Also, be warned that her birth was far from "natural" which I know is a bit upsetting to some of you, but it worked for us. She's here, and that's all that matters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
The decision was made between the peri and OB to induce at 37 weeks.
I was scheduled for induction on March 1st…37 weeks and 2 days. On March 1st the hospital was totally full, probably the result of the full moon. No room for inductions. I was rescheduled for March 3rd. I was disappointed, but not too bad. After all, this bumped me back to 37 weeks and 4 days, closer to 38 weeks than before.
My friend and her daughter came over Friday night and spent the night with us. She would stay throughout the day and watch the kids for us. Matt and I got up bright and early Saturday, dressed, and said goodbye to the kids. I was my usual nervous, yet totally excited, self.
On our way to the hospital, the moon was still up. It was 6:30, starting to get light. The moon was huge, and full. It looked like we would drive right into it. I said that hopefully it was a sign of good things to come.
As soon as we got to labor and delivery, we were taken right to our room. A million questions were asked. I would have thought they would have had all these questions in my chart from the doctor. At any rate, after they were all answered, the dreaded IV placement started.
The IV was probably one of the worst parts of the day. It took several tries, and lots of digging around. Inevitably, I would jump while they were digging. The nurse then said, “you jump and it makes the vein blow” HOGWASH!! If it were good placement, there would be no digging. The third nurse was finally able to get it in. I was so glad to have that done and over with.
I was checked then, and told my cervix was shut, and about 50% effaced. What a bummer. I had always been dilated by this point in my pregnancies before.
At that point, they started monitoring me and baby. Her heartbeat was way down on the left side of my abdomen. All of a sudden, there was tons of movement, and her heartbeat was gone. It was found up on my right side, much higher up. The nurse called the doctor who ordered a sono, to make sure she hadn’t turned breech on us.
Thankfully, she hadn’t, but it was discovered then that she was posterior. Not wanting to relive the pain I had with Zachary, I started to consider having an epidural. I was nervous though, that it would make me too numb, and if she had a hard time coming out, I wouldn’t be able to push well.
The pitocin had been started probably around 8:00, and the contractions were coming. They were never very long, but slowly increased in intensity. The doctor then decided it was time to break my water. I told her she couldn’t, because I wasn’t dilated at all. She checked me and said I was 3-4 CM. She broke my water, and it was all nice and clear. However, Emily was still pretty high up, so the nurse told me I couldn’t sit up.
This scared me badly. I knew the pain would increase in my back, with her being posterior. I remembered wanting to be in any position but on my back with Zachary. I decided on the epidural.
At noon, the anesthesiologist came and gave me my epidural. It was a really good epidural. It took the edge off the contractions, but I was still able to wiggle my toes and lift my legs up. I knew I was in for a long haul, laying on my back, unable to move.
Around 3:00, I was still 3-4 CM, and things started to get scary. With every contraction, her heartbeat would drop down into the 60s and 70s. We could watch the mountain on the monitor go up with contractions, and watch her line go down right along with it. They started rolling me from side to side. Just about ever contraction would bring a change in position. The nurses would rush in and say, “quickly, roll over” This is easier said than done when you have an epidural! I was checked again, and still 3-4 CM. I got really scared. I knew they wouldn’t let this go on forever before I would need a C-section. Having a C-section is one of my biggest fears in life. But at the time, I was more concerned that they wouldn’t do one soon enough, and that we would lose her. My best friend, Michelle, called around that time and Matt told her I was really scared and what was going on. She tells me that phone call took place at 2 her time, so 4 our time.
I started to feel the contractions more. At first it was pressure. Then it was pain. And lots of pain in my back. I asked for more drugs. I was starting to lose it. The fear and pain was too much. I was crying with each contraction. Looking back, I should have known something was happening. I started crying when I hit transition with Zachary, and that’s what was happening now, I just had no idea. They told me I couldn’t have any more drugs because we needed to get the contractions to do something. The whole time the contractions were never longer than 40 seconds long, and 2 ½ minutes apart. I knew nothing had changed, but I asked them to check me. I needed to know if there was any change. I needed to feel like I was making progress so that I could gather myself together and get through the pain.
The nurse checked me and said I was an 8. The doctor came in and asked if I was a loose 8, and if I could just push through it. I was freaking out, thinking of pushing while I was only an 8. She checked me and said, “let’s just have this baby” I told her no way was I pushing. I knew it was going to hurt like the dickens, and I wasn’t ready for that. I had another contraction and remember the doctor telling me to get on top of the pain, and the next contraction we would start pushing.
After that contraction, Matt asked if he could video tape, and they said not the delivery, but afterwards he could. He went to the corner of the room where my bag was, to get the camera as the next contraction came. He was busy digging through the bag while I was contracting.
The pressure was incredible and I started telling the doctor, “she’s in my butt, she’s in my butt” I knew she was coming soon, and I kept thinking that if Matt didn’t turn around, he was going to miss it. The doctor lifted up the sheet and said, “ why yes she was, there’s her head”
Matt turned around and looked and said, “holy cow, there’s her head” This is actually my most vivid memory of the whole thing. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on Matt’s face or the sound of his voice.
I thought they meant she was crowning, or that they could just barely see her head, but no, it was all the way out. Another contraction came and she slid the rest of the way out. I never pushed once. There was never any time to take the bed apart or anything. She was just there. We joke that she just walked right out. I had no tearing at all. She was born at 4:40 PM. The actual delivery was the easiest by far.
Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist had returned and started giving me more drugs in my epidural, as she was coming out. Matt told her I didn’t need it, but she said I would need it for stitching that was done. But I never had any. I was so dead in my legs after that, that I couldn’t move them for hours. It was horrible. I wish she had never appeared.
The best part of the delivery, by far, was how pink she was, and that she came out screaming. The relief was huge.
Later on that night, the nurses came to give her a bath, and didn’t bring her back. When I asked what was going on, they told me she would have to go to the NICU because she was grunting with her breathing, and her sugars were really low.
I was completely devastated. She spent the night in the NICU, but was then able to come back to be with me the next evening. He sugars had gone up, and her grunting stopped. The next morning, her bilirubin was checked and it was found that she had jaundice, and needed to be under the bili lights. Thankfully, the lights were portable, and she was able to stay in my room, under the lights. It was so hard to see her lying there when all I wanted to do was hold her. She was under the lights for 2 days, and finally released from the hospital. She was six days old when she came home.
She is such a wonderful baby, and the perfect addition to our family. The boys are all so in love with her. Even Zachy does better than we ever suspected.
How blessed we are.

The most beautiful girl in the world

2007-03-08T14:33:00.000-06:00

Just a quick update to let you all know that miss Emily Jean is here. She was born March 3 at 4:40 pm. She weighed 8 lb 3 oz and was 18.5 in long. A little shorty.
We just got home today due to issues with jaundice. I'll write a real entry soon.
But for now, a picture. She is the most perfect little girl and she is a wonderful addition to our family. Everyone is head over heels in love with her.

Maybe it's all just a dream

2007-03-02T10:13:00.000-06:00

It really doesn't seem real that I am sitting here 37.4 weeks pregnant. It doesn't seem real that we will have a baby in this house soon. I have all the proof..the huge belly, the jabs, all the baby items...it just doesn't seem real.
I remember being this pg with Zachy and feeling SO done. I was trying everything to get labor started. This time, I've done nothing. Of course, when I contract, I do tend to think, 'ok, now just keep on contracting and we'll get a baby' but it's just a passing thought, because I know I won't keep contracting!
I don't know what the deal is. Maybe it is my way of protecting myself. Maybe I am more afraid of something bad happening then I am even aware of. Even though, when I really stop and think about it, I am terrified. I just tend to push those thoughts out of my head.
I do find myself becoming anti-social. I do this. I do it when I'm first pregnant, and towards the end. I don't really have any desire to socialize with anyone. I'll go to the store with my family, but dread the thought of going somewhere where I have to actually talk to someone other than my family. I don't know why I get like this, it just happens.
Matt's work had a quaint little shower for us on Tuesday, and let me tell you, it was very hard for me to go. I did not want to sit around with people I barely know and act social. But we went. And it was fine. It's just something I don't enjoy doing right now.
Wednesday night, we took the kids to the top of the Tower of the Americas. It is our version of the space needle. It was actually quite fun. We just walked around and around and looked at all the lights of the city. Very pretty. Probably not something we'll do again, but it was nice to do it and to be able to say we did it. Kind of our last big family outing as a family of 6.
Let's see, what else. The weather has been beautiful here, making me want lots of flowers. I haven't done anything about that though. Matt tells me it's still too early. What does he know, anyway?? The trees are starting to bloom, so that tells me it's not too early. Maybe my mom will plant me some flowers while she is here!
Speaking of her, they are coming in on the 5th. The boys are really excited. The problem will be that now Collin is going to be used to seeing her every few months, and that won't be happening again!
Have a great weekend. Maybe I'll wake up from this dream sometime and report I've never been pregnant after all! Or maybe I'll come and say it wasn't a dream and now we have a baby!

Feeling desperate

2007-02-25T16:05:00.000-06:00

This baby is no closer to having a name than she was 8 months ago.
At least by now, we had it narrowed down to two names with Zachy. Course we didn't use either of those names, but still!!
I'm feeling like we desperately need a name..soon. Will it just come to us when she is born? What if it doesn't? How can it be so hard to name our first daughter??

No baby yet

2007-02-21T23:25:00.000-06:00

I was informed by my friend, Tommy, that I need to update to say whether or not I've had a baby. I figure you all will get REALLY tired of me saying, "no baby yet" But I'll humor him. No baby yet!
I don't have much else to write. I'm still sick. Zachy was up coughing last night, with a fever thrown in for good measure, but seems to be better today. Just coughy. Collin is currently being treated for an ear infection as well. And my dr was kind enough to perscribe some antibiotics, just in case this is bacterial.
I'm having a really hard time dealing with the fact that our last weeks together as a family of 6 is so filled with illness. Today, it was 82 degrees, and I so wanted to play outside with the boys, but my head is just full of so much pressure and I feel so crummy that I didn't do anything.
I keep reminding myself that I don't remember what we did in the last weeks before becoming a family of 6, so maybe it doesn't really matter. I don't know. I just know I want all this crud gone.
There's other stuff going on in the family, but I don't feel like writing about it. Just news we weren't expecting quite yet, and trying to process it all. So, if ya don't mind, keep us in your prayers. We'll get through it, we always do.
Anyway, that's about it, no baby and wanting to get well soon!

I'm UPDATING

2007-02-17T17:22:00.000-06:00

Can you believe it? I know, I've been very bad.
We have all been sick. Coughing our lungs up and other fun stuff like that. Matthew got the worst of it, his was complete with an ear, eye, and throat infection. The dr claims it's all allergies, but I just don't think so. Matthew is getting better and he's the only one being treated with antibiotics.
I told Matt today that I must have a cervix of steel, because as hard as I've been coughing I would think this little one would just be coughed right out!
So yeah, it's been fun.
Meanwhile, we try to go on as if everything is normal. My sabbath school class appears to be growing, which is so great because it was just 2 kids. The problem is, I've felt too poorly to really embrace the new kids.
Last week, my great-aunt Jo died very suddenly and unexpectedly. I adored her, and am so very sad that she is gone. It isn't like I ever saw her very often, but just thinking about her family that she left behind kills me. She had 7 kids, and lots of grandkids, and I know they all adored her as much as me, more so, I'm sure.
At my 34 week ultra sound it was determined that little miss no name was 6 1/2 pounds. Just about what Collin was at that time. So, another big babe for me! WHEE!!
OK, this is so scattered, and Matt just told me it's dinner time. If I ever have something mroe exciting to write about, I will make the effort to do so.

Baby Shower

2007-02-05T16:22:00.000-06:00

My baby shower was yesterday and it was so much fun.
I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful church family who loves us all so much.
I've been washing lots of blankets and onesies and towels and and and..it looks like a giant pink monster threw up in my washing machine when I fill it up!!
I also got a bumbo chair (YAY!! the boys think this is especially cool, especially Collin, he just told me a bit ago that we can take her to the beach now and sit her in the bumbo hehe) and I got a monitor!! YAY ME!! And then just lots of clothes and little essential stuff.
A funny thing though...I got a doll, and some pink stuffed animals. They are all piled up on my dresser right now, and every time I pass by I have a fleeting thought of, "whose doll is that? we need to get it back to her" Then it occurs to me that it is OUR doll. It just sooo doesn't seem to belong in this house!! It's totally wierd.
Anyway, I Am sooo excited to have this baby. I swear, I can practically feel the velvety softness of her head cradled in my hand. *sigh* I can't wait....not much longer now.

Really enjoying this time

2007-01-30T22:03:00.000-06:00

This pregnancy is in the home stretch.
Somehow, I managed to lose a couple months. I'm quite sure it was the holidays, but it was dragging, and now I can't believe how near the end is!
Being pregnant with a girl is definitely different than with a boy. I feel like she is really out there. Bending down is much more difficult than it was with the boys. I feel like they really nestled down inside me more.
Her movements are also totally different. I have always heard people talk about being able to feel a knee, or an arm, or any other body part. With the boys, I never felt that. I just felt general whollops. Little miss though, she's a different story. I can feel specific legs and arms and her little bottom. And it is so great! I love to watch my belly because she is always moving, and poking out in different areas.
Compared to when I was pg with Collin and Zachy, I am feeling great. I have some general aches and pains, but nothing nearly as terrible as what I went through with them.
My biggest complaint is complete and utter exhaustion. I have zero energy. I can't seem to get enough sleep, and I can't seem to get anything productive done. My house is falling apart, and it is killing me. And yet, I start to clean up, and I just can't. I am so tired. I don't remember feeling this exhausted with the others. Maybe I'm just old! I told Matt today, that at this rate, I just might opt for that epidural because I can't imagine having the energy to get through labor! I'm sure that adrenaline will kick in, but right now it just seems impossible to get through labor.
All in all though, this is a really enjoyable time for me. If only I could get some energy! Maybe I just need to eat a liver.

In other news, Matthew is doing much better. He had a follow up appt today with the pediatrician who said he was on the mend. Hooray!
All of the kids seem to be sick though. I can't tell if it is sick, or allergies. I am also totally stuffy. Matt was having major sinus pressure a few days ago, so who really knows what is going on.

On Sunday, my wonderful friends at church are throwing me a shower. I feel so loved. I have better friends here than I have had in a long time (and you know that doesn't include you Michelle!!). They have become my family here, and I am so grateful to them. Yeah, Theresa..I'm talkin about you!! I love ya!
OK, I'm off to bed, I'm so tired.

Just a quickie

2007-01-27T23:39:00.000-06:00

I had my 32 week appt yesterday, and everything went well. I'm measuring big. Big surprise. My blood pressure was lower than it's ever been.
Which is amazing considering Matthew was feeling totally under the weather, and stressing me out. We were able to get him to the dr, and then to the ER to find out he has an infection. Poor thing. He is pretty miserable right now. But hopefully the antibiotics will clear things up. He follows up with a dr next week sometime.
Dillon and Matt have been hit hard with allergies the last couple days, so they are pretty miserable as well.
Thankfully, the other 3 of us are doing great. I am always extremely tired, including now, so I'm off to bed.

A simple little project...

2007-01-24T12:45:00.000-06:00

So in Science we are studying about the ocean. And have studied sandy beaches and rocky shores. The boys were supposed to take some sand paper and create a sandy beach. I left this project for Matt to help them with, because he is definitely the more creative one. I told him that they needed to create a beach, with animals that would be there, shells, and a strandline. I then went to the store.
This is what I came home to!! Simple..HA!!

~~~ Edited to add..you really can't tell, but Matthew's has a swimming area, sun bathers, a bird, a sting ray, a shark, a turtle, sea grass, jelly fish, a crab, and even a bottle of sunscreen. The boy's got some talent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
And because Robin asked so nicely, here is a 32 week belly shot. It is really a bad bad picture. But alas...complete with stretch marks..my belly.

Update on the ice storm

2007-01-19T11:09:00.000-06:00

So none of these pictures do it justice. The pictures in the last post were from the first day, and the second was much worse. Basically, any exposed object was covered in a layer of ice.
Matt finally went back to work yesterday, after being off all week. South Texas is not equipped to handle ice, so therefore just shuts down. It was interesting. And very nice, I must say. We enjoyed having Matt home.
But now, all the ice is gone. And it is supposed to be 65 on Sunday. Go figure.
Anyway, more pictures for your viewing pleasure.

This tree usually stands upright, it just couldn't handle the weight of the ice..it is back to being upright now though.

We have ICICLES!!

2007-01-16T17:06:00.000-06:00

I never thought I'd be able to say that here, but alas, we are under a sheet of ice.
The entire city has closed down. The freeways are closed. Matt was supposed to report to work at 10:30 this morning, but didn't know it and went at regular time. Around noon he came home. The base closed down. I didn't know that bases closed down! Lackland was the last in the city to close though.
The freezing rain is supposed to carry on until tomorrow afternoon..maybe he won't have to go in.

Does anyone need a gorilla??

2007-01-15T22:07:00.000-06:00

It has been raining here, and Zachy keeps telling us we need a gorilla. We say, "you mean an umbrella?" and he says, "yes, a gorilla" It is pretty funny.
So, I promised an update after my ultrasound, and I neglected to do it. It was totally uneventful. Baby looks great. Approximate weight is 3 lbs 11 oz. So sweet. She did yawn during the scan which made me want her RIGHT NOW. I can't wait to see those little yawns.
The weather has turned here. It is freezing. Literally. It is so wierd. All of the schools are closed tomorrow, and lots of the roads are closed, to be honest, I'm not sure how anyone is getting around town..everything is closed. All because of freezing rain. It is supposed to continue on through the night and through tomorrow.
Last week, the kids were playing with waterguns on the trampoline, in swimsuits! Craziness.
Matt had the day off today, for MLK day. It is always so nice having him home. The only problem is that then I miss him that much more when he goes back to work! Too bad hospitals don't close due to bad weather, we'd get him for another day!
This entry has been totally all over the place. Life is just so boring right now (I am NOT complaining about this) and it seems there isn't much to report on.
Stay tuned for more exciting entries.

Good News!!

2007-01-10T09:54:00.000-06:00

First of all, my friend Maria (she is the one who's son has the same defect as Zachy, she was in the heart walk pictures) just found out she is pregnant!! I am so excited for them! I know the gamut of emotions she is about to go through, and I know she'll get through it all wonderfully!
Anyway, Congrats to you and hubby!!!
Then, I got word that my cousin is expecting her third boy. I didn't know she reads here, but she left me a comment, so she must! So CONGRATS on the boy! Boys are such a huge blessing, and I wouldn't trade a single one of mine for all the girls in the world. And it is fun to be able to say, "my three sons"!
And lastly, Matt got official word yesterday that he will be promoted to Captain in July!! WOOHOO!!! This is really exciting for us! I'm so proud of him. :-)
~*~*~*~*~*
I have an ultrasound appointment today, I'll try to update when I get home!

Huge accomplishment

2007-01-02T20:16:00.000-06:00

Woohoo!! The boys all saw the dentist today. It took forever, but it is good to have it done now for 6 more months. They were all free of cavities! Zachy thought it was so cool to look at himself in the mirror with a big smile after they cleaned his teeth..he kept walking up to it with the biggest smile on his face. They all did so good. Dillon goes back next week for sealants on his molars, but that's it till July!
It feels good to have that big ole appointment done. Now I have to manage to get the cat and dog to the vet for their shots before March. I'm trying to get all these big appointments done before baby comes.
I'm waiting on appointments for Collin and Matthew to see the ophthalmologist, and Matthew has his MRI on the 17th. After that, we should be good for a whole year. YAY!!
Ok, off to watch Barnyard with my kiddies!

YIPPEE!!

2006-12-31T22:32:00.000-06:00

Houdini has been captured!
This morning we woke up, and there was a hole in the wall where the scratching had been last night. We are pretty sure it was Houdini in the wall, but we have no idea how he got in there.
At any rate, tonight I checked under the fridge and he was there. He is back safe and sound in his cage.
Thank goodness!!!

Scratching

2006-12-30T19:38:00.000-06:00

There is scratching coming from our walls. Very. Loud. Scratching.
Matt was first convinced it was Houdini. Only, there is no way for him to have gotten in there. I think it's a rat.
I'm disgusted. I'm freaked out. I, quite frankly, don't know what to do. Do we call housing? Do we call the exterminator? What do we do?
When I was growing up, we had scratching and thumping in the walls. It ended up being a big ole rock chuck who was stealing our cat food and living in the wall. We caught it with a fishing net when it came out from the hole it was using to access the wall, and were going to take it to the lava beds to set it free. It escaped before we could take it. We saw it once, in our yard, after that.
I doubt we have a rock chuck. I don't even think those live here. Maybe we have an armadillo..but I highly doubt it. I'm thinking a rat is much more likely. GROSS.

More pictures

2006-12-29T21:11:00.000-06:00

Pictures galore

2006-12-29T14:45:00.000-06:00

Just a ton of pictures from our park day, yesterday. I have more to upload, but am going to take a break for now!

Hello Hello

2006-12-29T14:27:00.000-06:00

No luck catching Houdini yet..but he keeps stealing food, so we at least know he is well! Tonight, we are on to yet another plan of attack!
I am pleased to announce that I passed my last 3 hour glucose test with flying colors! WOOHOO!! I hadn't heard anything about it, and was really sweatin it. I figured they were being nice and letting me enjoy the holidays before breaking the bad news to me. But no.
Matt has had all week off, and doesn't go back to work until Wednesday. It has been so fun having him home, I so don't want him to go back to work. It will all be ok though, because we will have to start school up again. Can't play all the time, now can we? But, it's been fun while it's lasted.
Yesterday, we went to a park we hadn't been to before, and took lots of pictures, I'll have to upload them and get some on here.
Today, Matt is spending some quality time with Dillon and Collin. I'm home with Matthew and Zachy, so need to get going.
I just wanted to update on Houdini.

Houdini...the hamster that is sure to be the death of me!

2006-12-27T14:21:00.000-06:00

OK, so his name is really White Spot, but I'm renaming him Houdini.
The hamster can escape out of anything. At first, it was easy to find him, he always went to the same closet.
The week before my mom came, he got out of his cage overnight, and was nowhere to be found. We had told Dillon that if a week went by and we couldn't find him, we'd assume he was dead and get him a new hamster. Dillon was certain Houdini was in the cat's tummy.
Well, over a week went by, but my mom was here, so we didn't do anything. One night I was in the kitchen and he went waddling past me, behind the fridge. We were able to catch him and put him back, safe and sound.
Not even a week after that, Dillon was holding him. Some time later, he says to me, "Can I move the couch to get my hamster?" I thought the hamster had been put away a long time before. Of course, he was no longer under the couch.
Since then, we have not been able to find Houdini. I think that was last Thursday.
We put carrots in the kitchen, in various locations to see which one he would take, to try and give us some idea of where he might be. No such luck, he takes them all!
Last night, we decided to try leaving his cage out on the floor in the kitchen, hoping he might find his comfy bed too irresistable to leave!
The silly thing took ALL the food out of his dish, and evidently is stashing it somewhere. How I wish I could have seen his cheeks full of all that food!
We have searched high and low and cannot, for the life of us, find him. At least we know he is alive and thriving! I told Matt, tonight is stakeout night, and we will be watching all night till we find him!

They say your blood gets thin

2006-12-25T16:18:00.001-06:00

Today it is in the 50s and VERY windy. I am FREEZING!!! Two years ago, 50s would have felt great. Not now..I am soooo cold. BRRRRRRR

Feliz navidad

2006-12-25T13:55:00.001-06:00

Sea World fun

2006-12-25T12:46:00.001-06:00

We went to Sea World when my mom was here. The boys wanted to get a little wet during the beluga whale preshow. By the way, Collin wasn't into getting wet, the kid in the yellow was just a little girl who also wanted to get wet!

Busy Bees..that's us!

2006-12-24T12:28:00.000-06:00

It seems like it's been awhile since I've done a real, true update. And I was kind of thinking of doing a year in review type post, but we'll see.
Last week we were so busy with my mom and stepdad visiting. We had a great time and hit Sea World and the Riverwalk. Dave even took the eldest 2 boys down to Corpus Christi for a day at the beach. They had a blast! He even built them a campfire on the beach and let them cook their own lunch. They climbed sand dunes and played in the Gulf. It was over 80 degrees that day, so it was perfect for them.
Last weekend, the 16th, Dillon was baptized. He had worked so hard on all his studies and was so anxious to be baptized. Matt sang the song, 'I wanna be just like you' and dedicated it to the boys. He had made a video to go along with it with loads of pictures of the boys. Of course, I cried like a baby the whole time. He sang that song way back when Dillon was dedicated, so it was extra special.
The day started out really rocky though, and I was afraid I wouldn't make it to church, but there was no way I was going to miss it. Zachy got very sick at about 4 that morning. He was breathing so hard and fast and loud. I thought he must have pneumonia. We couldn't get him awake enough to get him to stay propped up to try to help his breathing. And he was shivering fiercely. At that point, he wasn't hot at all. I finally decided to give him a breathing treatment, and that helped a bit. But shortly after that, he was burning up. His temp was 104.9. This went on the rest of the morning, but after another breathing treatment, tylenol, and motrin, he was improving. We took him to church and he slept through the whole service. Which was quite nice, actually, I was able to focus all my attention on Dill, where it belonged. Zachy woke up after church was over, and ate a good lunch, and did great from then on. It was totally wierd.
Matt's song, will always be a highlight of the day. You see, the lyrics talk about a man wanting to be like God, because his son wants to be like him. It was moving the first time Matt sang it, but really, his heart wasn't right with God at the time. This time it meant so much more, because his heart is right with God.
This has been a wonderful year, spiritually, for us. I can't believe how our lives have changed since this time last year. It feels SO good to be equally yoked.
Matt and I were in charge of the Christmas program we had last night. And I say, "and I" loosely, because Matt did all the work, and he deserves all the credit. We just seem to come as a package deal. It turned out so good, and exactly how I had it pictured. It is always good to reflect on the true reason of the season. I am glad to have it over though. What I did do, was stress about it. That was my job! Now we are free until this summer when VBS rolls around again. And we were told last night that we have officially been nominated to run the Christmas program next year. Thank goodness there's a whole year till that!
I had a drs appointment last week, with my regular OB and was surprised to learn that I am already down to bi-weekly appointments. I can't believe how fast things are going right now. On Tuesday, I'll be 28 weeks...12 to go. Crazy. It sure changes things when you are pregnant through the holidays! Time flies!
This hasn't turned into ta review of the year, but my boys are all doing a 3-D puzzle and I think I'm going to go join in the fun.
I hope you all have a very merry Christmas, and enjoy your time with your families. Matt has all of next week off, and I plan on enjoying him immensely.

Ultrasound yesterday

2006-12-14T15:03:00.001-06:00

My u/s went really well yesterday.
We were finally able to see that her lip is INTACT!!! And her nose as far as we can tell, but that one is a bit trickier!
Also, they did the echo, and as far as we can see, her heart looks great.
The doctor said we could repeat it later, but really, I'm ok now. I will have them do one when she is born. Not to mention that yesterday's set me back $100. Wasn't expecting that. Oh well.
Anyway, she is such a wiggle worm, and the doc kept giggling, which is so unlike her. She said, "I try and grab a picture and she moves"
She is sooooo cute. I want her now. Well not really, cause she only weighs 2 lbs 4 oz. So she can bake.
I am so frustrated with pictures though, I have yet to get a really good one. I did get a good one of her lips and nose, but that's it. Oh, and her other lips!! Matt looked and said, "oh, I guess that's pretty obvious" FINALLY HE COMES TO HIS SENSES!!!!

For all you nursing mothers out there

2006-12-08T11:08:00.000-06:00

I stole this link, but it is GREAT!!
For all you nursing mommies out there! Gina, this is especially for you!!
YAY BOOBIES!!

Run down on the hospitals

2006-12-08T10:38:00.000-06:00

OK, so we toured the methodist hospital last night. And I am so glad we did. I do NOT want to deliver there.
As far as the labor and delivery rooms go, they are both quite equal. Except for the fact that there are a gazillion at methodist. However, baptist seemed a little homier and peaceful. There were signs everywhere at methodist saying that videotaping was not allowed. At baptist you aren't allowed to videotape any medical procedures. But there were signs in the halls, on the doors, by the nursery, everywhere..saying it wasn't allowed. Which makes me suspicious.
Anyway, at methodist, after the baby is born they take the baby to the nursery. Because that is "the ideal environment for the baby". And they keep the baby there for 1-3 hours. Ummm, last time I checked, the ideal environment was with the mommy. As soon as we heard that, Matt and I were like, "nope, we won't be delivering here" At baptist, they do all of the weighing and measuring and bathing in your room. The pediatrician will even come see the baby in your room, your baby never has to go to the nursery.
As if that weren't bad enough, we went around the corner to find yet another nursery, where you are encouraged to send your baby so you can have a break and sleep. I wanted to scream. The nursery was full of babies. It was like being in the 60s. We were the only veteran parents there and I could see the glee in these ladies eyes when they were being encouraged to leave their babies there for as long as the want. I do NOT want to be at a hospital that is so not attachment friendly.
I could be overly sensitive. When Zachy was born, I wanted nothing more than for him to be in my room, with me. And he couldn't be. And there were other, perfectly healthy babies, in the nursery, crying for their mommies. I wanted to go bang on their doors and say, "listen, you have been given a gift, you have a healthy baby that you can keep with you...NOW DO IT" So yeah, it bugs me to see so many babes away from their moms. That is NOT natural. It is not the way things were intended to be. And it shouldn't be encouraged!! Makes me mad, can you tell??
Anyway, based on these things, I will be begging my dr to let me deliver at baptist, and I will not be letting my baby out of my sight. That's the way it was intended to be.

Time for an attitude adjustment

2006-12-05T14:22:00.000-06:00

Sorry I've been MIA again, I'm slacking big time. I just don't feel like anything is worth writing, life has been pretty boring!

Anyway, I've been kind of hating Texas for awhile now, and the other day I realized that it isn't worth it. It's stupid, in fact. Why do I hate Texas? Because it isn't Idaho. But what about Idaho do I miss? I don't really know. I've realized that people change, even if we went back, it would never be the same. So there is no sense living in the past and wishing I was somewhere that I am not.

So, I've decided to embrace San Antonio. To make it home. If we have to be here 3 more years, I might as well enjoy it, right? That's my new goal, to make this home. I have wonderful friends here, probably better than the ones in Idaho, as crazy as that sounds. Because they are my friends, and they didn't become my friends through the process of knowing my mother.

My daughter is going to be born here. I will forever have a link to San Antonio. My daughter will be a native Texan. How wierd that sounds! And it will be ok.

Everything will be ok. It will be better than ok. It will be great. This will be home.

Belly Pic

2006-11-28T10:06:00.000-06:00

I have several pics of the kids that I need to upload and put here. But it's all time consuming, so for now, here you go. Me at 24 weeks.

I'm still alive

2006-11-27T10:00:00.000-06:00

I'm so sorry I disappeared for so long. I have been battling a terrible sinus infection. And boy howdy did it knock me out. I was so exhausted. I don't know if it was a combination of being pregnant and sick or what, but I was out of it.
Strangely, I was the only one to be sick. Thank goodness for that!
It's been so long since I wrote, that I don't even know what to put in this entry. Maybe I'll do another random thought entry, cause I know you all love those.

~We celebrated thanksgiving at home, just us. It was nice. We put up our christmas tree and all our christmas decorations. After all, thanksgiving is the beginning of the holiday season. HA! I would have had the tree up after the halloween decorations came down if I didn't think it was a bit much.
Our meal was yummy, if I do say so myself. I wasn't going to do the whole turkey and fixins meal, but Matthew insisted that I did. I'm glad he did, actually. It all turned out really nice.

~At my last drs appointment, my dr wasn't there. I saw a midwife instead. She said that she's known my peri for 20 years and has never known her to be wrong in her sex determinations. Not that I was really doubting, but I think it helped Matt to hear that. He is finally accepting that there might be a little girl in there, after all!
We also discussed the two hospitals that my dr delivers at, and she told me to take tours of both before my next appointment and then discuss the pros and cons with my dr. And of course, there are pros and cons to both. We'll see what happens. We already toured the baptist hospital, and we go next week to the methodist. We got to see a brand new baby who was being looked over in the nursery. Matt and I both thought that he was incredibly pink. It's amazing that the memory that sticks out most is the memory of Zachy. I don't really remember if my other kids were as pink as this baby, but I can tell you that Zachy was no where NEAR that pink.
I was lightheaded through a lot of the tour. Could have been cause I was sick, but I was only lightheaded in certain areas, so I think it was just the overwhelmingness (like that word??) of it all. After the tour, the guide took me to the NICU, just to show me that it exists and is functional.

~Last week, Zachy had his appointment with the new cardiologist. He was ok. A good cardiologist, just not very personable. I was so spoiled in Idaho! Anyway, he was diagnosed with bradycardia (slow heart rate) and sick sinus syndrome (basically a very irregular rhythm). Right now his energy level is really good, so we just leave him be. But he said he wouldn't be surprised at all if somewhere down the line he needs a pacemaker. He also said it is impossible to predict when that might be, but as long as his energy level is high, we're good. He continues to be seen once a year, with a holter monitor yearly. Once he hits about 5, they'll start doing exercise tests on him to see how his rhythm is.

~My mom is leaving today for their vacation. They'll visit family in Ohio and then come down to see us. They should be here around the 13th! The boys are so excited. It will be nice to have family down again. They'll stay for about a week, and we'll do our big Christmas celebration while they're here.

~A few weeks ago, Matthew and I were on our way to a store when he told me, "Mommy, last year I was pretty sure that there was no santa, but then you showed me that thing on the computer that shows you where he is, so now I'm not so sure" So, we discussed it and he decided that santa probably isn't real. He is beyond excited to be in on the secret and can't wait to help stuff stockings! Two days later, he lost a tooth. The next morning he sat down by me and said, "I have to tell you something. Last night I saw daddy, I know there isn't a tooth fairy. But is there an easter bunny??" It was so funny. He's growing up so fast.

I can't think of anything else worth writing right now, so I'll just close here.
Tomorrow I hit 24 weeks, time for a belly shot!

Celebs

2006-11-14T15:31:00.000-06:00

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!

2006-11-09T14:35:00.000-06:00

OK, not really..but since it NEVER looks like Christmas here, I can start any ole time I like!!
I have officially finished all my shopping for our extended families. Everything is ordered and on it's way to it's destination.
I even shopped a bit for Matthew and Matt. So, all I have left is the boys and Matt. WOOHOO!! That feels GREAT!!
I have my Christmas cards and am debating writing a letter. This year has been so boring for us, that I think I might just leave it out this year. Less work for me. And as soon as I get them done, I can start on my Christmas baking. And when that's all done..I can start on my baby announcements!! YIPPEE!!
Some of you have asked what we want for Christmas, and I've said baby stuff. To help everyone out (and because it's so much fun!!) I'm going to go to Babies R Us tomorrow and register. Then y'all can just look online there and get an idea of what we need. Doesn't that sound like fun??
Matt has the day off tomorrow..what fun!!!
It's about time for my Christmas music to come on the site!!
Wow, I just looked at my ticker, and by Christmas I'll be in double digits! Time's flyin!!

More pictures

2006-11-07T11:32:00.000-06:00

New Song

2006-11-07T09:45:00.000-06:00

OK, so I haven't gotten to my Christmas music yet!
This is my current favorite song. Why? Well because I can just picture my Matt singing this when his baby girl gets married. Makes me cry every time!

Artist/Band: Heartland
Lyrics for Song: I Loved Her First
Lyrics for Album: I Loved Her First
Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I'm not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first

How could that beautiful women with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first

Ultra sound yesterday, and a pic of the family

2006-11-07T09:33:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I had my ultra sound. It went like this.
She put the wand on my belly and looked at the screen.
Her, "Did you already know you are having a girl?"
Me, "well that's what you thought we might be having last time"
Her, "this baby is definitely a girl!"
So, there you have it. A BABY GIRL!!! FOR US!! WOW!!!
Everything that she could see looked good, but the stinker had her hands in front of her face the whole time so we couldn't see if there was any clefting. And her heart is still too little to know much about other than having 4 chambers.
She weighs 14 ounces now...and is cute as a button already! I can't wait to meet her!
I go back in a month, and hopefully we'll see her face that time!
Awhile ago our church had a church directory made where Olan Mills came and took pictures. Of course we had to buy some.
Here's the family pic. It is really centered better, but it is an 11x14 and wouldn't fit all the way on my scanner.

It's not a trick

2006-10-31T11:15:00.000-06:00

But it certainly isn't a treat, either!
I'm half way done today!! So here is a belly shot, complete with my head, for you Robin!
See, I'm easy, all you have to do is ask!!

Pumpkin pics

2006-10-28T18:27:00.000-05:00

Collin's pumpkin is on the left and Zachy's on the right.

Dillon's pumpkin. It is so funny with a tiny face. He did it himself.

Matthew's pumpkin that he carved himself.

Something you may or may not know

2006-10-28T17:49:00.000-05:00

I'm lonely. And it's really hitting hard lately.
With the shirt, came a dvd of pictures of Matt's grandpa's life. He passed away in June.
I cannot tell you how much I love Matt's grandparents. They are two of the most wonderful people I have ever known. I look up to them. Matt's grandma is one of the most nonjudgemental people I have ever met. And papa Joe was too. I always thought it was so funny, how the two of them were on the same wave length. I guess after 60 years together, it's a given. But she would tell me a story about someone in their neighborhood...YEARS ago...like when their kids were growing up, and grandma would say, "what was that boy's name, Joe?" and I would think to myself, 'ummm she hasn't even started a story about that boy, how in the world would he know who she is talking about??' But, ALWAYS, he would tell her the exact name of the exact boy who was in her mind, that she would go on to tell me a story about. It was amazing.
I have never known anyone who has been married as long as them, and I long to have as long and happy life with Matt as they had with each other.
Papa Joe was full of stories. And silly songs. And funny sounds he would make to make the kids laugh.
And I miss him. And I'm so sad that we weren't there to say goodbye. And to let him know just how much we love him. I was only blessed to know him for 14 years, but he had such an impact on my life.
He is so much like Matt. Not only in looks, but in manner as well. I can almost look at him and know exactly what Matt will be like in 50 years.
Sometimes, life just gets away from us, and we never tell those we love how much they mean to us...and then it's too late. And look at me, I'm sitting here, crying my eyes out, writing this in my blog, for the world to see, but not for Grandma to see. How lame am I?? She is the one who I should be telling that I love, and just how much we miss them. And yet..here I am.
Of course in all the pictures, were pictures of cousins and aunts and uncles and sister in laws and brother in laws and mother and father in laws...and on and on. They all live up there. And I miss them too. So very much.
It is lonely here. I try to tell myself all the time, that we have each other, and that is all that matters, and I know it is true. I'm just so very lonely.
Yes, we have a wonderful church family, and we talk to our families, but it isn't the same. It will never be home.
And while we are here...life is going on without us...nieces and nephews are being born who we have never seen. Two nieces and one nephew...so far. I have a feeling there will be more while we are here. And our lives go on as well...here we are having a niece and a grand daughter, and no one will know her. My mom and step dad will be here when she is born, but who knows when we will ever see anyone else.
BLAH...this entry is making me thoroughly depressed. The boys are carving pumpkins (a chore I so do not like, I just take the pictures) and having a gay time, and I sit here in tears.
Off I go, to be with the only family here. And ultimately, the only one that matters, I suppose.
Maybe one of these days, I'll get around to telling everyone I love, just how much I love them.

Turns out I'm not the only optimist

2006-10-27T10:19:00.000-05:00

This came in the mail yesterday from my in laws. Matt can just be a pessimist by himself!

ACK!! Can someone help me??

2006-10-27T09:51:00.000-05:00

I must be losing my brain. If you couldn't tell, I've redone stuff here a bit. I lost my flickr badge. I have been sitting at flickr looking everywhere and I cannot for the life of me find where I need to go to put it back.
Les...Vic...Gina...anyone...could you help this poor pregnant lady??? LOL

Total preggo moment

2006-10-26T12:48:00.000-05:00

This morning, Matthew had an appointment with the nuerosurgeon.
Let me explain to you that he has a fatty tumor (lipoma) in his brain. It has been there since birth, and in his 10 years, it has not changed one bit. It causes no problems whatsoever, it just hangs out up there.
We have a very thorough pediatrician who said that while we live in Texas, he would at least like us established with a nuerosurgeon, just in case. In case of what, I don't know. But I'm not against being established with certain drs, in fact, I think it is a very good idea for us. I'm still working on getting in with a craniofacial doc, but that's a whole other issue.
When I made the appointment, they told me to bring all his old films, and that he needed a current MRI, like in the last 3 months current. Since we haven't been seen by them, the ped. has to refer him for that. So, I talked with the ped. who said to just go to the appointment, and they could then order what they wanted, because he didn't know what they would want. Can't say I blame him, MRIs are exactly a one size fits all thing.
So, the appointment was this morning, and last night I realized that it was downtown and I would need money for parking. I went to the gas station on the way, and the ATM was out of money. So I bought something and got cash back to pay for the parking.
We get there, and completely struggle to find a parking spot. The parking garage left a whole lot to be desired, but whatever.
We get to the office and they ask for his films. I explain to them what I have, and why I don't have a current film. Because this isn't causing any problems. Well, they make me sit there forever, then inform me that the doctor will not see him today because we don't have films. ARGH!! I was so upset. I was nearly in tears, and thinking to myself 'if I wasn't pregnant this wouldn't be bringing me to tears!!' I asked them just exactly how I was supposed to go about getting these tests ordered when the pediatrician didn't know what they wanted. To which they replied, 'well, he'll just have to call us' Now see, had they just seen us, for 2 seconds, let us be established, then THEY could have ordered the tests!!
So, I went through all this trouble, had to pay for parking, for NOTHING. Made me grumpy grumpy. My poor kids.
We came home, did school, and now they are all outside playing with their remote control cars. I am baking 2 loaves of zucchini bread, and have batter for 2 more in the fridge.
The pediatrician's office is not happy about any of this, and are working on seeing what needs to be done.
This appointment was made back in August, so we're looking at the end of the year or next before we go back. I suppose that's a good thing, they won't remember me and how they almost made me cry!!

Matthew's masterpiece

2006-10-24T11:28:00.000-05:00

Matthew went to work with Matt yesterday so he could get his ID. I emailed him halfway through the day and told him to draw me a picture. I figured it could pass the time since he loves to draw. What I didn't expect was for him to draw it on the computer.
I was really impressed with this!

Just for you Gina

2006-10-23T23:43:00.000-05:00

I readded your song. I was messing with the template, and it made me lose a ton of stuff. So, just for you I put it back.

This, that, and the other thing

2006-10-23T18:30:00.000-05:00

I feel I need to write something, since it's been awhile, but I don't really have a well thought out post. So, how about some random thoughts??

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Zachy is so cute. I know I have talked about his enthusiasm here before. The other day, I put a hand me down shirt on him. It was from the neighbor, so he hadn't seen it before. He put it on and said, "a new shirt?? for ME??" And I said, "yeah, a new shirt just for YOU" His eyes got huge and he said, "OH MY GOSH MOMMY, THANK YOU" You would have thought I just bought him a new car or something, he was so thrilled.

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We think Zachy may have split personalities. The boy can go from being sooo sweet to being so wild and rowdy. He doesn't listen at that time. It is crazy because it is the exact opposite of his sweet loving self. I've taken to calling him SPB...split personality boy.

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The great he/she debate is still going on in our house. Matt insists that this baby is a boy. I insist it is a girl. He says given our track record it has to be a boy. I told him that he is the optimist of the family, and this is something to be sooo optimistic about, and he is being a pessimist! HARUMPH!! He will be proven wrong on November 6!!

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Matthew got his military ID today. He is so tickled with himself. He keeps showing it off to everyone who will look. He said to me, "what are you on yours?" I said, "ummm spouse, and see, you're child" he said, "no, mine says Lieutenant, what are you?" I had to laugh. I said, "no that means DADDY is a lieutenant, not you" He was bummed, he thought he was an LT!!!

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Matthew has a nuerosurgeon appointment this week. Nothing exciting. He has a fatty tumor in his brain that causes no problems, but that should be watched. So the pediatrician set us up with a nuerosurgeon here. It should be fun taking all four boys to a serious appointment. And I know they will want to order a new MRI. What a pain that will be.

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Dillon got a hamster for his birthday, and today he was holding it and it got away. It was in the couch and I thought for sure we wouldn't get him. But we did. He just hung out there all day. Silly hamster!

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Collin is working so hard on his "S" words. It is really cute to listen to him, but I am so glad he is finally getting that he talks wrong.

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He has also gotten into the lying stage. Today, he pulled the cushions off the couch, while Zachy and Dillon were with me. When I went in the living room he said, "I didn't do it...it was Zachy" I said, "um, except Zachy was with me!" If there is no one else to blame, he'll blame the dog. It's silly.

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I made a creme pie for dessert tonight. The kids just came in and said,(at the top of their lungs) "we're ready for pie!!" So I must go and get pie.

What do you all think??

2006-10-19T15:11:00.000-05:00

Alrighty, so I know this is just too silly for people like my mom and Matt, but I took a picture of my u/s video at the "girl" part.
So the question is....is this a girl??

Why I never call maintenance

2006-10-19T09:41:00.000-05:00

We had to turn all our gas off the other night. And now the pilot light on the water heater won't work. I called maintenance yesterday, and told them about that and a few other things, assuming it would all be the same people.
Well, water heater man came out and determined that the water heater needs to be replaced, and if we're lucky, it will be today.
So here I sit, waiting for him to come with a water heater. And it isn't the same person that comes for the other stuff, so now I have to wait for another person to show up too. Which could take up to a week.
I have things I need to do. Like go pick up Collin's glasses, and go grocery shopping. But I can't, because I'm stuck here, waiting on them.
This is why I never call. I hate waiting on them. We won't even mention that they are all creepy and I hate being here with them.

Anyway, onto better things.

Since I didn't post a picture of Zachy last time, here he is. With all his dum dums.
Matt says he sure is getting skinny! You be the judge!

And because I just couldn't resist. And yes, all you skeptics out there, I did keep the receipt!!!

There's a special boy in this house today!

2006-10-12T21:27:00.000-05:00

Eight years ago, at this time, I was holding a wee little newborn in my arms.
He was born at 1:05 PM. A whopping 9lb 10oz. The dr called him Bruno when he came out. He was perfect.
Now, he is such a big boy. More of a young man, actually.
He has the most tender heart of any of my boys. He will save the world some day! Or maybe just the animals. But I do know he will do great things.
He is also my most literal child. It is kind of humorous, he takes everything seriously. Makes it tough to kid around with him, but maybe someday it will come in handy.
He is a perfect little man, who loves his family, and loves God even more.
I am blessed to be his mommy. How did I ever get so lucky??
Happy birthday, Pickle boy, we love you!!!

Fightin back the tears

2006-10-12T21:13:00.000-05:00

I've been teary eyed almost constantly since yesterday.
We went to Target, and were looking around the baby stuff.
Did you know that itty bitty girls, wear itty bitty tights? And things that say, "princess" or "sweet girl" not "champ" or "baby boy"? It's like a whole different world.
I wistfully felt all the soft pink fabrics and prayed they would be mine soon. And I started my dreaming.
A daughter. For us. Forever. It still leaves me speechless. I can't think of words to describe how I feel about this. Just...surreal.
Tears come to my eyes when I think of how a little girl will fit into our family. Will she be a girlie girl? Or a tomboy? Whatever she is, she'll be perfect. And she'll fit in perfectly.
I'll have a daughter.
And some of you have asked me how Matt feels about this. He says he doesn't believe them. But to tell the truth, I don't believe him. I think he's just afraid of getting his hopes dashed.
Matt has wanted a little girl since I was pregnant with Matthew. Before, actually. She already has him wrapped around her tiny little finger, and neither of them are even aware of it. I can picture him with his little girl. She will be his princess. She will be the apple of his eye. Of course he loves his sons more than anything, but a little girl...wow. I think of it, and the tears come, instantly.
I think of them at her wedding (yes, a long ways off, but I know how fast this all goes!!) I can see the look on his face when he walks her down the aisle.
Yes. This is a very, very good thing. And I am oh so grateful that accidents happen.
Who knows, she may even complete our family. You'll never get me to commit to that though...she may need a sister!! ;-)

U/S pic

2006-10-12T18:09:00.000-05:00

I have two entries I need to write, but I am super tired right now. Maybe later I'll get my second wind.
For now, here's my baby!! Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen???

Claiming it!!

2006-10-11T09:38:00.000-05:00

OK, I've decided that I am going to embrace the idea of a girl! I will dream, and probably even buy something (leaving the tags on of course). And then, if we find out we are wrong, then at least I will have lived the dream of a daughter for a month! I just hope it doesn't make me too disappointed.
But honestly, I'm not like jumping up and down excited. It is so hard to wrap my head around the thought of anything but a boy. It seems so surreal.
I'll probably just get my head around it when they say, 'oh it's a boy!' Oh well, such is life I guess!

Collinism

2006-10-11T09:34:00.000-05:00

We have been working on Collin's speech. He struggles with his "s" "z" "c" etc. sounds.
So his latest thing is this.
C~ Mommy, what kind of lemow-lade is this?

M~ It's just normal lemonade

C~ No, it's shhhhhhh-hour lemow-lade!!!!

He also really likes to come right up in my face and say, "boo" and I say, "boo to you" and he says "boo to you"
We can go on like that for a very long time! It's awfully cute.

Look at my handsome boy!!

2006-10-11T09:19:00.000-05:00

I have been trying to get these pictures up for a week now. FINALLY, it works.
Matthew got his braces off last week.

Here he is before he got them on.

The morning he got them off

The result!

And while I was taking his picture, Dillon and Collin wanted me to take their pics. So here they are.

What I know

2006-10-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

OK, here's what I know from the u/s.

Baby has a 3 vessel cord, and a 4 chambered heart. Baby was sitting on it's face in a ball, so we weren't able to tell if there is any clefting. Also, the pulmonary veins are way too little to be seen right now.

Brain looks good, arms and legs look good, and belly and kidneys look good. Baby weighs a whole 6 ounces!! Sooo sweet. :-)

Shockingly, they suspect this baby is a GIRL!!!! Baby was sitting on it's feet when they were looking, but they insist they saw two white lines indicating labia! I sooo badly want to believe this, but am scared to get my hopes up way too high. If anyone has early labia pics I'd LOVE to see them! I can tell you that I definitely didn't see a turtle. I may have a daughter. Wow. How will that ever sink in???

At any rate, I go back on November 6, and will most likely have monthly u/s, and later on we'll do a fetal echo.

All I know is I am head over heels in love with this little baby, and can't wait to meet her. (Can I say that????)

So exciting

2006-10-09T16:07:00.000-05:00

Since today is a federal holiday, my hubby got to stay home with us!
We had to go get Collin's glasses fixed so decided to stop by Babies R Us on the way home.
Oh, it was so exciting!! We have scoped out the big ticket items we will be needing. I think we are pretty certain on what we are getting, it's just a matter of when we'll be getting it.
It kind of stinks that Christmas falls right in the middle of this pregnancy. We really can't wait till after Christmas to start buying, because we need to space it out a little bit more, but with all the gifts we have to buy as well, it could get pretty tight. I told Matt today that an August baby has it's benefits!
Anyway..tomorrow is the big day! Let's all pray for good news, shall we??

New email address?

2006-10-06T17:20:00.000-05:00

So, I've been thinking, my email address...mom2fourboys, isn't going to work so well in a few months.
So what do you all think it will be?
mom2fiveboys or mom2fourboysand1girl???
OK, it isn't like I'll actually use those, but what is your guess?? We find out on Tuesday if this little one cooperates!

YIPPEE!!!

2006-10-06T17:13:00.000-05:00

If you'll recall, I called the cardiologist some time ago. He never called me back. I called him a couple times after that, with no return call. It has been 4 months since he ordered the monitor on Zachy.
He finally called me on Monday, and honestly, I don't think he had even looked at the report, because once he hunted it down and called me back later in the day, he said, 'it's a bit concerning, his heart rate goes down in the 40s while he's asleep, so I think we should see him in December'.
Anyway, this disturbed us quite a bit. There were abnormalities on the report and he never called. Would he have called if I hadn't? Who knows.
At any rate, I called the pediatrician and told him what was going on. He said it was absurd of the card. not to call us when there was a heart rate that low. So we asked to be referred to a civilian card. Not that we think the outcome would be different or anything, we just like docs who COMMUNICATE.
We weren't sure it would be approved, and the ped. even seemed to think we would have a hard time with it. But, Praise the Lord, it was APPROVED!!! YIPPEE!!
I so long to be back with a civilian card. who pays attention to his patients! YAY!! Zachy goes in on November 21. I'll keep you all posted!

Per Robin's request

2006-10-03T13:45:00.000-05:00

This is what you get when you start a pregnancy already the size of a house. A nice big belly at 16 weeks. Picture was taken by Dillon because Matt things belly shot are ridiculous. What does he know anyway??

Happy Four Months to Me!!

2006-10-03T09:34:00.000-05:00

I am 16 weeks today. Hooray! Four months down!
I passed my 3 hour glucose test, so that is great news!
Baby has been moving around like crazy since Sunday. I don't know what happened on Sunday, but since then he has been a wiggle worm. It is so nice.